Moms who work from Home
Sounds so nice, right? Moms may think otherwise…
Covid created a wave of remote working, that for the most part, has stuck. Companies realized how much money they could save by foregoing office space, and employees enjoyed the benefits of working from the comfort of their own homes. Working remotely is now being offered as an option or benefit for new hires amongst a lot of businesses, proving this new way of clocking in isn’t going anywhere.
I had a flexible, outside sales job which allowed me to work when the kids were in school and be home when they were home. Initially, I felt very fortunate to have the ability to be able to do both, to not have that 8-5 job, to work on my own schedule and get things done around the house between calls.
I quickly found that working from home for me was a very difficult feat. When you have an office outside of the home, you have the luxury of taking off all your hats- you’re not a maid, cook or chauffeur-you just get to be a business professional. You’re not staring at the mounds of laundry or the dirty dishes in the sink, you get to focus solely on your business tasks.
The ongoing list of household chores staring me in the face while I was trying to work wasn’t the hardest part. The part that was nearly impossible for me was being a mom and employee simultaneously.
And we didn’t have a nanny. I remember hiding in my car or the garage to take a call from my manager so she couldn’t hear the chaos in the background. While playing with my daughter and her baby dolls, I’d have my phone right next to me and my escape plan in the back of my mind just in case that important customer called in the middle of our tea party. I was always on edge having to regularly anticipate a five-alarm drill during work hours if I was at home with my children.
So, why didn’t I ask for help? Because, like many moms, I wanted to do it all and thought I could. Turns out, I’m not a great juggler. I was spread too thin, stressed out and exhausted from trying be a full-time employee and mom in the same setting. But, I also never created daily goals, priorities or boundaries.
I was talking to a working mom a while back, someone who is extremely successful and task-oriented but struggles with the balance of work once her kids get home from school. She told me she just can’t turn work off completely until 5pm and feels guilty because she feels her kids need her the most when they get home- to tell her about their day, friendships and test grades.
I completely related to her and brainstormed on some ways she could create a better balance for herself. I gave her these tips that may be helpful if you’re a working mom from home:
Each day create two groups: Group1 and Group 2. Group 1 are those tasks that are most important, most pressing, work on these first and try to get those accomplished before kids get home (or wake up from nap time). Write these down and cross them off so you can visibly see your progress. Group 2 are those that come after your Group 1’s, those that can wait until the next day or spread out over several days.
Create a standing time duration you spend with your kids when they get home, whether it’s 30 min, 1 hour, etc. This is uninterrupted time that you dedicate to them, no phone or laptop, just you and your child(ren), so that you can be 100% present, giving them the attention and time they may be needing. (You should be able to do this without anxiety if you have been productive with your Group 1’s :) Their love tank is filled and you can let them know mommy has to finish up a few things at work before the end of the day. Setting boundaries and priorities are important to both of you.
*Note: Realize you don’t have to respond to emails/calls asap, most of the time they can wait. We tend to think we have to rush to get back to people, but in reality the pressure of instantaneous response time is self-inflicted. If it’s not imperative to respond within the hour, put it on your list and return to what you were doing.
Know that when it comes to household responsibilities…you have options.
a) Make a schedule. For example, laundry days MWF, grocery days MF, vacuum T/TH, etc. When we don’t have a plan in place, we tend to get sidetracked and overwhelmed. If we have designated days for chores, then we are better able to focus and be more productive at work.
b) Delegate. If your kids are old enough, give them chores and an allowance. This not only helping you, but helping them understand responsibilities and the value of a dollar. Also, feel free to delegate to husband.
c) Outsource. If you are able to pay for services such as babysitting, laundry, household cleaning, etc…do it. I wish I would have budgeted for more help because I didn’t realize how much I needed it. And if you feel like services such as these are a bit extravagant, then use them twice a month instead of weekly. Remember, just because your place of work is at the home doesn’t mean you have ample time to cook and clean…you’re working as if you are at an office outside the home.
Lastly, grant yourself grace! No matter how much we try, there will always be things that fall by the wayside, so try not to sweat the small stuff (put them on your Group 2 list for tomorrow). I think all moms are nothing short of amazing and remain in awe of how much we take on each and every day.
Just remember: no matter how much we think we’ve failed on any given day, we have those little eyes looking up at us who think we’ve still conquered the world.
xo,
Court
